


The Red Viper and the Dread Pirate Roberts

by Azdaema



Series: Mini crossover ships [2]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Princess Bride (1987), The Princess Bride - William Goldman
Genre: Crossover, Crossover Pairings, M/M, Outrageous Flirting, Post-canon (for Inigo), Pre-canon (for Oberyn)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-06-05 10:13:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15168452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azdaema/pseuds/Azdaema
Summary: There are still stories told in Dorne of the Red Viper's great affair with the Dread Pirate Roberts.





	1. Chapter 1

       Returning to Dorne from Volantis, the Dornish prince's ship was overtaken by pirates in the Stepstones.

       The Red Viper was quick, but caught unaware. The masked pirate captain was quicker, twisting Oberyn's blade out of his grip, sending it clattering to the deck. The tip of his sword rose to hover, just ghosting the skin of the Dornishman's jugular.

       "Please," said his captive.

       The Dread Pirate Roberts' gaze darted for a moment to his first mate. The first mate gave a slight incline of his head.

       "Please," Oberyn continued, "I need to live. Eight years ago, my sister Elia was slain by a man they call ‘the Mountain that Rides.’ He raped her. He murdered her. He killed her children. I cannot die now while he still lives."

       "You loved your sister very much."

       "Yes."

       The Dread Pirate Roberts tilted head in acquiescence. "I understand that. I respect that."

       For a long moment the pair just looked at each other, two pairs of black eyes glinting in the moonlight.

       Then, "Fezzik!" the captain called. "Take his blade and throw it overboard. Be careful to touch only the hilt—you know what Vizzini said about Dornish poison. Then bring torches so I can see him. Buttercup, fetch torches as well. Westley, stay here with me."

       The sailors did as their captain asked. Waiting, the Dread Pirate Roberts did not lower his blade, and Oberyn felt the tip of a second blade resting against the curve of his spine.

       When the torchbearers returned, they stood on either side of the Dornishman. Both held torches in both hands. The captain stood in front of the prisoner, the first mate behind, both with drawn swords.

       "Strip," the captain commanded.

       Oberyn smirked involuntarily. The other three pirates exchanged questioning glances with one other.

       "If I am to let you live, I must be sure you are unarmed," said the Dread Pirate Roberts by way of further explanation, though behind his mask his glittering eyes seemed more amused than anything else.

       Oberyn pulled out a hidden dagger from his boot, another from his jacket, and dropped them on the deck with a little mocking half-bow, then processed to disrobe, with more performance than was strictly necessary.

       When Dornishman was done, and he stood stark naked on the deck of the ship, the captain leaned in. "Mayhaps you are dangerous even without your blades," he said. "I would believe it. But take a good look at Fezzik here." He gestured to the man holding torches, who towered above them both. "He is dangerous unarmed as well, and there is no question that he is stronger than you. Before you move to attack any of us, think well on that."

       And with that, the masked captain sheathed his blade, strowed across the deck, and threw open a door. "Now come into my cabin, and let us talk like civilized men."

       With a glance over his shoulder, he ordered, "Throw those things overboard as well."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... when the idea for this fic occurred to me, I knew right away it had to become a thing. But by the very nature of the premise, I think it demands to be a little smutty. And I can't deliver on that part. So I wrote _this_ much.
> 
> So… well, at least the _idea_ of Oberyn and Inigo's torrid affair exists on AO3 now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wrote some more on this. I wrote it in the middle of the night.
> 
> Please do not expect me to update this fic again. This fic requires swagger and bravado. I do not have swagger or bravado.

       The Dornishman followed the captain into his cabin. The two sat. Both wore the confident air of a man who fears nothing—though the captain also wore a tunic, britches, and a mask, all in black.

       "Since I made you reveal yourself, it seems only fair I do the same," the captain remarked, reaching up and removing his mask.

       "You are too kind," the Dornishman replied dryly. He studied the captain's face, dark eyes lingering on the mirror scars on either cheek, but made no comment.

       "Do you have name?" the pirate inquired.

       "Yes," his captive replied bluntly. "Do you?"

       The captain laughed at this. "I am called the Dread Pirate Roberts."

       The Dornishman tilted his head. "It is a poor pirate who must call himself ‘the Dread Pirate’."

       "I do not call _myself_ that."

       "What _do_ you call yourself then?"

       "I have already given you _one_ name. You have given _me_ none. So first, tell me: What do _you_ call _yourself_?"

       "You have told me only what _others_ call _you_ , yet you ask for the name _I_ call _myself_?" The Dornishman spread his arms helplessly. "That I cannot give."

       "You seem to be forgetting that you unarmed and naked, while I am armed and clothed."

       The captive shrugged. "Feel free to disrobe too, if you wish. But if you insist—others, others call me the Red Viper."

       "The Red Viper. Tell me then, Red Viper—do you know what they say about the Dread Pirate Roberts."

       "I confess, I do not."

       "They say I take no prisoners. And I cannot let myself be proven false, so you, my friend, cannot be a prisoner."

       "What am I, then?"

       "A guest."

       "You are too kind."

       "But if you _are_ to be my guest, I must know your true name."

       "And if I refuse?"

       "Then I would have to kill you, which would be a shame. You seem a decent fellow."

       After a moment of deliberation, the Donishman gave a slight incline of his head. "Oberyn," he said.

       "Oberyn," the pirate repeated.

       "And _your_ true name?" Oberyn prompted.

       The Dread Pirate Roberts considered for a moment. "Perhaps I shall tell you in the morning."

       "And as for tonight?"

       "That remains an open question."

       "Oh?"

       "The safest option would be to chain you up, but I do not truly wish to do that. And if we are to let you walk free, then it is not safe to give you reason to resent us."

       "A wise idea," Oberyn agreed.

       "Yet, I have known you less than a day. I dare not leave you alone quite yet, either. Perhaps someone ought to watch over through the night."

       "Who do you propose?"

       "I suspect you could overpower Buttercup, so she would be a poor choice. You certainly could _not_ overpower Fezzik, but he might fall asleep before dawn. Westley, I believe, could do the job, but as it was _my_ decision to spare you, it seems rather unfair to make guarding you _Westley's_ responsibility, don't you think?"

       "Most certainly," Oberyn agreed. "And so then?"

       " _And so_ , it seems, you will be under _my_ watch tonight."


End file.
